# 327

membaca segala cerita tu membuatkan aku jadi melankolik sekejap. hahaha
telinga aku masuk air. dari pagi tadi, macam2 cara aku buat nak suruh air tu keluar. tapi tak jadi2. kalau by hari khamis telinga aku masih tak ok, kena pergi hospital la jawabnya.

aku hairan betul. asal aku nak exam je, mulalah badan nak buat hal. dugaan...

# 326

i wanted to cry, but there were no tears.
i hope that you'll be there, waiting for me.
good night

# 325

i miss him.
his words, his laughter, the teasing
i miss all of that

i never confessed. didn't have the gut to do so.

i remember the conversation between my friend and him. he asked, "mek suka aku ka?". and of course my friend denied it, because she believed that i have a crush on someone else. which is not true. i hide my feelings for him by saying that i like somebody else. i didn't want anyone to know about my feelings towards him. i was afraid, if the secret gets out and he'll hate me.

and i remembered my friend said that, he seems like he wants her to say that i like him. he seems desperate and keep pestering my friend about it and she denied it till the end.
i wonder, what if she said that i like him. what if, if i was brave enough and just confessed to him. what if, what if, what if..

guess i'll never know that now

# 324 ~ i hope you won't read this, ever

dear future husband *uhuk*kim kibum*uhuk* ~ please ignore this delusional fangirl~

assalamualaikum. hi.... well this is kind of awkward....

sesiapa pun awak wahai suami tercinta *kalau orang kat atas tu pun takpe juga*, saya harap awak dapat cinta dan terima saya seadanya. saya harap awak dapat tahan dengan kegilaan saya, extreme mood swings saya dan segala ciri-ciri ketidakperempuanan yang saya miliki. dan saya sangat harap awak dapat tahan dengan masakan saya :p

saya harap sangat sangat awak tak panggil saya sayang, darling, honey, baby atau yang seangkatan dengannya sebab saya mungkin akan menggigil kegelian. saya serius ni awak, tolong jangan panggil saya macam tu. tapi kalau awak nak panggil saya 'yeobo' saya tak kisah.

awak.. awak mungkin akan tahu yang saya minat gila korea, lagi-lagi mamat jambu SHINee tu. jadi kalau saya tiba-tiba tengah tidur, termengigau sebut nama dorang, awak jangan marah ye. dan kalau awak tengok saya sampai gila tak tidur malam duduk depan laptop tunggu MV baru dorang keluar, awak tidur je.dan kalau awak nampak saya drooling sambil tengok dorang kat tv, tak payah jealous sebab cinta saya untuk awak je.. *oh tolong, ayat geli aku tak tahan. nak muntah jap*

awak... awak jangan emo emo ye. major turn off kalau lelaki emo ni. cukuplah biar saya seorang je emo. kalau dua2 orang naik hantu, terbang atap rumah. awak, kalau saya emo tu sabar eh. saya emo kejap je, paling lama sehari. dan saya sangat sangat sangat harap awak bukan seorang yang berlagak, show off dan bodoh sombong.

oh, awak.. saya harap awak suka membaca. saya suka bekarya, dan saya tak sabar nak tunjuk karya-karya saya. dan lepas kita kahwin nanti, saya nak sangat tulis cerita pasal cinta kita berdua. mesti sweet kan ^^

dan yang penting sekali awak, saya harap awak dapat bimbing saya dunia akhirat. betulkan saya jika saya tersalah jalan. pimpin saya di sepanjang perjalanan kita. awak jangan sekali-kali biar saya tersasar jauh. saya pohon sangat-sangat.

bagi saya, perkahwinan itu bukan sekadar tentang seorang isteri wajib mematuhi suaminya, ada anak lepas tu selesai. tidak sama sekali awak.. awak bukan setakat suami saya, awak juga akan jadi sahabat baik saya. seorang yang saya dapat percayai untuk berkongsi rahsia. awak yang akan support saya, yang akan jadi pelindung saya, yang akan tarik saya kembali ke jalan yang benar andai kata saya tersimpang jauh dari landasan agama.

awak... saya harap kita berdua dapat atasi segala ranjau dan liku kehidupan. susah senang bersama. saya, insyaAllah akan bersama awak dalam setiap perkara. baik atau buruk, kita akan hadapi bersama. dalam perhubungan ni, saya mengharapkan kejujuran.
dan awak, luka di hati akan meninggalkan parut. saya harap awak ingat tu.

oh awak, ingat satu perkara penting ni. saya tak suka berkongsi. jadi awak jangan baik hati sangat nak bagi pinjam dan kongsi badan awak kat orang lain ^^


p/s: this is too cheesy........ =_=
i'm going to rewrite this once i got a chance.
curse you fatihah for making me do this thing.

# 323 ~ Wrinkle - Gumi

one of the sweetest song i've ever heard. i teared up a little bit when i watched the video. i suck at mushy stuff. lol

anyway, enjoy ^^

Passing time with the person you love,

I wonder how much time has passed like this

Long time ago

I thought: “I can’t love anymore”

(knock)

Did you realize you're the one 

 that forced the door open?

Remember, our wrinkles are increasing one by one

Even if it became fun to think about tomorrow,

every time our wrinkles increase,

I met a happier you than yesterday

So let’s just go with the status quo

Spending years with the person you loved

I wonder how much time has passed like this

“When either of us passes away, it’ll be with a smile”

This was our promise, do you remember?

Let’s get married!

A size 9 ring from Isetan,

It really suits you

Remember, our wrinkles are increasing one by one

And the orange sky faded

Even if I start crying,

Each time the number of wrinkles increases,

there’s no more taking or giving,

If we are here together,

there’s nothing like an expiration date

Something like “forever”, is honestly impossible, but

there’s no way we can leave each other after all this time, right?

So, let’s take an oath, one more time,

Remember…

Finally, on the day of my passing,

you’re next to me, all wrinkled,

And even though you're crying like a child

but according to our promise, you smiled,

you were the most beautiful you have ever been.

“I am happy”

I say, as I closed my eyes.

# 322 ~ Reasons why we are still singles

not that I care of course :p

# 321 ~ forgive but don't forget

i forgive but i don't forget when my dorm mates and one particular stupid penolong ketua pengawas asrama threw spoilt milo at my bed. their reason? they thought the milo was mine, and they decided to 'teach' me a lesson for being unhygienic. guess what? that milo was certainly NOT MINE and i had to sleep on the filthy mattress for a few nights. i wonder why i don't kick that pengawas ass off. aku boleh consider kawan form 1 aku buat macam tu sebab masing-masing tak matang, tapi pengawas form 6 buat macam tu? stupid much? buat decisions tak pakai akal. just saying...

i forgive but i don't forget that meeting pengawas. kejadian tu akan jadi satu titik hitam yang aku tak akan dapat lupa. my dad almost mengamuk because of that. yela, her once strong daughter tiba-tiba menangis teresak-esak lepas balik sekolah, something that i never do. mana dia tak marah. i forgive but it's hard to forget when that incident somehow tarnish my ego(?), image(?), or something..

but i certainly do not forgive and do not forget when that stupid seniors insulted my parents. a bunch of hypocrites insulted my parents, how can i forgive them? mereka marah kami sebab kononnya kami batch form 1 perempuan berkapel. which none of us did to tell you the truth. they were a few of us yang menggedik dengan senior lelaki ( i was not one of them for sure), but that was it, nothing serious. dan mereka marah pasal berabang angkat, beradik angkat & pasal batas pergaulan..
couple? nope, i was and still single. abang angkat? menyusahkan dan menyerabutkan. batas pergaulan? i don't simply touch guys and hug them. i know my own limit. that's why i couldn't care less to any of that issues sebab aku tak terlibat langsung.

but suddenly mereka sentuh pasal topic parents aku. which is irrelevant and stupid. aku tak tahu apa masalah dorang bila parents aku visit aku kat asrama every week. jealous much? dorang kata parents aku stupid sebab visit aku selalu and manjakan aku. aku sangat menyesal aku tak tampar senior-senior perempuan yang cakap macam tu. oh, the irony of being a junior. takut dengan senior. bila fikir balik, tak patut aku takut dengan a bunch of losers macam dorang. aku patut lunyai je mulut keji dorang yang kutuk parents aku.

cakap pasal hypocrite, marah kami pasal couple, adab pergaulan. tapi dengan lelaki duduk kongsi satu kerusi, ass to ass. couple keliling pinggang. dekat sekolah tudung labuh, kat luar pakai skirt. oh lol
aku nak gelak dengan orang hipokrit macam ni.

p/s: i think i have insomnia. i can't sleep at night. sebab tu aku emo.